‘Use lubricants, you will thank yourself the morning after’. Almost everyone knows the importance of using condoms these days; how condoms are a means of contraception and how they play a role in preventing STDs is common knowledge now. But not enough emphasis is given on the use of lubricants with condoms.
Dispelling the myth:
There is a misconception about the use of lubricants that they are only there to fix a problem. This statement is entirely wrong. Thinking that women (at least younger women) should be wet enough on their own for the sex to be smooth is not right. There are many factors why some women don’t get wet enough naturally. These include:
1. Stress and anxiety.
2. Relationship issues
3. Hormonal changes, eg. during breastfeeding, perimenopausal and postmenopausal.
4. Some medications like antidepressants, antihistamines, and COCPs
5. Medical conditions such as diabetes mellitus.
Some women naturally don’t get too wet. It is completely normal. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t turned on, that is just how their body physiology works. So lubricants should be a regular part of entirely natural and healthy sexual intercourse.
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Why should you use lubes?
1. They make sex more fun and less painful.
2. Contrary to the general concept, they help women get wetter.
3. Help in the stimulation of the clitoris.
4. Dry sex causes fissures and abrasions which can be the site for infections. These fissures and abrasions can happen both in the vagina and the anus.
Anal fissures can become so troublesome that one even has to undergo surgery for its treatment.
The shaft of the penis can get chafed too. Lubricants prevent this from happening.
5. They are a must for anal sex. No amount of lube can be too much if you like going through the back door.
6. Prevent condoms from ripping off as dry sex puts too much pressure on condoms, causing them to tear off.
7. Lubricants come in really handy during masturbation. Men and women alike can use lube while playing with themselves.
8. Putting a drop or two of water or silicone-based lubricants inside the condoms gives a very pleasurable and different feel.
Types of lubricants
There are several different types of lubes. Use the one that suits you the best.
1. Water-based lubricants
These are usually cheaper, easy to find, easily washed off and the best kind to use with toys.
They are a perfect type of lubricant to be used with condoms.
Their only drawback is that they get dry readily, so they have to be reapplied multiple times.
Variants both with and without glycerin are available. Use the options without glycerin if there is a history of a recent yeast infection [1, 2].
Examples include KY jelly, Astroglide, Ultraglide, Maximus etc.
2. Silicone-based lubricants
They are water resistant, so they are the best kind to be used during shower sex.
They also contain the least amount of chemicals so people who get a lot of allergies should use them. They last for an extended period so they, do not have to be reapplied during the intercourse.
They are safe to use with latex condoms.
Their only drawback is that they cannot be used with silicone-based sex toys as they will ruin the toys.
Examples include Wet Platinum, ID millennium, Pink etc.
3. Oil-based lubricants
They can be found in your kitchen. The general rule is that if it is safe to eat, it is safe to use as a lubricant.
They are easily accessible and cheap. They provide the longest lasting feel.
Oil-based lubricants destroy latex condoms, making them porous and useless . Never use oil-based lubricants with condoms.
Examples include vegetable oil, sunflower oil etc.
4. Flavored lubricants
These can be great for oral sex, but they might contain sugar which can be harmful for some people (e.g. Diabetics).
Aloe Cadabra is an organic water-based lubricant which comes in two flavored variants, which don’t contain any sugar (nor glucose or glycerine), nor any parabens or petroleum.
You can find it on Amazon.
5. Warming and cooling lubricants
These will give you a warming or cooling feeling when applied which might further arouse you and/or your partner. Only use them after asking your partner and be very careful with them.
Test them before using for the first time.
Read more in this post.
How to use the lubricants
Always keep them handy (by the night table, under the bed). Take a quarter-sized dollop of the lubricant on your hand, and rub your hands to prevent the feeling of cold shock that the cold lube can cause. You can also warm your lube in a cup of warm water but careful to not do it too much.
After this, use it as you please. There are no right or wrong ways. Always read the instructions written on the bottle of the lube.
Don’t use oil-based lubricants with condoms!
Don’t use silicone based lubricants on toys made up of silicone.
Research published in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology in 2016 stated that nearly one in every 10 women experience dyspareunia (painful sexual intercourse) but don’t say anything out of embarrassment .
A lot of these cases occur due to having dry sex. Using lubricants with condoms while having sexual intercourse will not only make it more pleasurable for women, but it will also help the men. It will go a long way in making your sex life more fun and desirable.
- 1. Kathryn Doyle via Reuters.com [link]
- 2. Myrtle Wilhite M.D. via sexualityresources.com [link]
- 3. M Steiner, C Piedrahita, L Glover. The Impact of Lubricants on Latex Condoms during Vaginal Intercourse. International Journal of STD & AIDS. [link]
- 4. KR Mitchell, R Geary, CA Graham etc. Painful sex (dyspareunia) in women: prevalence and associated factors in a British population probability survey. BJOG An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology. [link]
Why is vaginal lubrication important for women? [link] Why you should never be embarrassed to use lube [link]