Sex should always be fun and exhilarating. So when things start to get stale in the bedroom, how do you broach the subject? You may be keen on trying something new and kinky, or playing out one of your bedroom fantasies or fetishes, but don’t know how to go about talking to your partner about it.
For couples, talking about your sex life is important in order to ensure that both of you are happy and fulfilled. Sometimes, preferences on adventurous sexual experiences are varied. What’s most important is making sure that both partners are allowing themselves to be happy and comfortable while maintaining an intimate connection. Here are some tips on getting your partner to spice things up in the bedroom:
1. First, do your research
Before blindsiding your partner with your great idea for a new sexual adventure, do your homework and make sure you know what exactly is involved. Read up on safety tips and techniques that will make the experience more pleasurable, or learn about special sex toys for enhanced excitement. Getting a good grasp on what you may want to accomplish will work in your favor when you need to explain it all to your partner.
2. Ease your way into it
Start out small. Don’t expect your partner to dive right into something new, especially if they aren’t usually adventurous to begin with. Instead, bring up the topic slowly and when the timing is right, especially if talking about sex isn’t something you normally do as a couple. It’s probably best not to bring up the topic while you’re already in bed and about to have sex, or at the dinner table. Instead, start by finding a time when to bring up to your partner that you might be interested in trying something new and go from there.
3. Set rules
Communicate to your partner what you would like to try, gauge their interest, and then talk to them about setting rules that will ensure they are feeling as comfortable and in control as you. Your partner may only be interested in trying something new because you are, but may not really know for sure if they’ll enjoy it. Making it clear that you two can establish a set of ground rules will work best for translating that communication into the bedroom. Creating a comfortable and intimate environment is best for ensuring that your partner’s comfort level is respected, and communicating your way into it is essential for ensuring a good experience for both of you
4. Be honest
Don’t make excuses for why you want to do something. Be completely honest with your partner and tell them exactly what you’re suggesting and why it intrigues you. Talk to them about any ideas and concerns you may have, and open up the discussion so they can do the same as well. Make them feel special by reminding them that this is something you want to try together, which is why you’re bringing it up.
5. Don’t wait
You might feel nervous or scared to suggest something new to your partner, especially if you feel as though your partner might take it personally. However, it’s important to communicate openly in order to ensure a happy and healthy sex life. So if you’re feeling bored in the bedroom, don’t settle just because your partner may be fine with it. Who knows, maybe the thing you suggest could bring you both closer together on an intimate level.