It seems just about anything can become a smart gadget these days, including a condom. Yes, online retailer British Condoms has recently announced the first smart condom, the iCon Smart Condom, which comes with features you’d normally expect from smart devices and wearables.
But does any man even want to know the level of his virility or, by some misfortune, the lack of it? Would anyone care about how many thrusts you made before you let your soldiers loose? Why would you even want to think during sex when you’re supposed to just feel?
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This new technology may seem ridiculous to some, but fascinating for others. But the bigger question is would this smart condom see the light of day or is it going to deflate everyone’s burgeoning hope of an excellent dick wearable?
What makes a gadget smart?
By definition, a smart gadget is an electronic device often characterized as having a set of hardware and software ICT resources, an external service that is accessed and executed remotely, wired or wireless connectivity to other devices, and ubiquitous computing properties.
The iCon Smart Condom does meet some of these criteria.
According to its manufacturer, it uses nanochips and sensors to work. It has the capacity to measure several variables that you may have, at one point or another, thought about during sexual intercourse. May being the operative word here.
- Penis girth
- Average velocity
- Average skin temperature
- Total number of thrusts
- Calories burned
- Total number of sex sessions
- Presence of antigens or proteins found in STIs
After a steamy encounter, you can check out the figures using the iCon app that is compatible with an iPhone or Android device. Smart, right?
How does it work?
Place the device around your penis, all the way down, and do the deed. Leave it to do its magic, which is basically to take measurements and protect you from making a colossal mistake should the gadget detect a possible STI.
To download the most recent data, plug the device into your smartphone or tablet using the integrated micro USB port and the app. To charge the smart condom, plug it into your computer or mains.
You have to admit that this up and coming wearable has some merits, but there are also some things about it that are dodgy.
For one, it is not a condom. To clarify, the name is iCon Smart Condom, but it is actually a penis ring. So, it should have been called the iCon Smart Penis Ring. Was there really a point to mislead people? Unfortunately, many websites were eager to share the big news without even digging deeper into what the product is really all about.
It’s also hard to imagine a wearable condom because this would mean it can be re-used repeatedly, similar to a smartwatch. Considering where a condom goes, it has to be washed or cleaned like a sex toy, which would make its integrity questionable.
For another, its manufacturer claims that it can detect STIs, but doesn’t explain how. Sure, there’s a disclaimer about it being in the final stages of medical testing, but what are the variables being tested and the elements used to test those variables?
Moreover, the smart condom is said to be “extremely lightweight and non-invasive,” which will give you a picture of what it may look like, but not how it can do all the things it says it can, particularly detecting STI antigens and proteins.
If you think about traditional testing methods in hospitals and clinics, you will definitely applaud the manufacturer if they can squeeze all that in one lightweight device the same size as the girth of a penis.
Well, the iCon Smart Condom is definitely something to watch out for, but don’t hold your breath. It could turn out to be just another marketing stunt.