Being a woman is a beautiful thing, but it can also be accompanied by times and situations that test our resolve. With all that is going on in society, the #metoo campaign, people filing sexual harassment and assault claims left and right, it’s also a dangerous world.
Yet we still want to have fun. Still, want to enjoy moments with a partner that leave us satiated in the end. But that also comes with its definite perks and downfalls. Like preventing pregnancy and the spread of disease.
When trying to prevent either one of these, it’s about using protection. Some places still teach abstinence, which in all reality is not the real world that we live in.
While there are some that have taken vows of celibacy, there are much more that have not. And they want to be safe while enjoying their sexual encounters, be it with one, or multiple partners. It’s their decision.
So when a woman asks the man to use a condom or brings one with them for them to use, it can result in an argument or even the end of that night when it shouldn’t.
But what tactics are men using to try and get out of using a condom; because the majority of the time they are not based on fact, they are based on a “personal preference” that has nothing to do with the woman trying to protect herself and essentially him in the long run.
Let’s look at some of the tactics they use and how to combat them and defend yourself and your morals because let’s face it if they don’t want to adhere to them, show them the door.
Condoms Don’t Fit Me
This one is something that is based on personal feeling that they don’t fit. Condoms are made to be durable, and stretchy.
If you go to YouTube and search for a video that shows people manipulating condoms by literally putting a regular condom over their entire arm, another gets it over a basketball, another on their entire foot.
But it is all about comfort as well. This can be easily mitigated by trying out a few different kinds, different brands, many which are sold online.
It’s an excuse that can be fixed by a bit of research, as well as trial and error. One that doesn’t fit correctly, can slip or break and cause unwanted or unintended pregnancy or contraction of an STI/STD.
However, finding the right one can bring about more comfort for the man and the woman along with safety as well.
So although the ones they get might not be comfortable, they can find ones that can enhance the moment instead of hinder it.
I Don’t have any Diseases, We’ll be Fine
Unless they are tested after every sexual encounter, and even six months out, this is not guaranteed. Lack of symptoms is not something that inherently makes them safe.
Take HPV for example, it’s not something that men have symptoms of, but for women, it can cause a host of problems that range to infertility and cancer. And men, a little over 73 percent of the, think that by telling you they are clean, they will win you over.
And if by telling them that you can’t totally be sure, you can tell them that you want to prevent pregnancy as well and reach for a condom. If that still dissuades them, well then they again, know where the door is.
But I Want to Feel You
This is a common one. Men say that it doesn’t feel as good with one because they can’t feel you. However, through a process of trial and elimination you can find ones that you both like (been there, done that) and if you find one, order them online in bulk, that might be the best option even.
But even so, about half of all men try this tactic. One reason that this doesn’t hold up is that there are also different types of condoms, some with or without lube (which can help the situation), some with ribs, heat activated ones, ultra thin ones, etc.
There are plenty out there to make the situation feel that much better. Plus it may help reduce the anxiety of an unwanted pregnancy or an STD, which can help women climax better.
I’m Allergic to Latex
I’ll start by saying the could be a legitimate reason, for about 2.4 seconds. After that, it doesn’t hold water, because there are plenty of condoms that are latex free.
See, condom manufacturers were well versed on the fact that latex is an allergen for both men and women, so they catered to it. SKYN is one brand that you will hear a lot about because they are made of a natural rubber, polyisoprene, the latex alternative.
So if they say they allergic, or you are allergic, bring some with you.
Remember, close to 80 percent of men try to resist using condoms, so why not have some plans up front about how to handle it.
Yes, it’s a touchy subject and can completely kill the mood in the moment, but a respectable person, who respects their morals and values and those of the person they are with, will not hesitate to do as you please, especially if they are trying to see you again.
We aren’t trying to start a debate; we are trying to stay safe in a world with so many uncertainties. So stand up for what you believe in and defend that decision completely, because, in the end, you are the only one left with regrets if you don’t go with your feelings.
- Women’s Health Magazine. 5 Things Men Say to Avoid Using Condoms. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/5-things-men-say-to-avoid-using-condoms
- Very Well. SKYN Non-Latex Condoms. https://www.verywell.com/skyn-non-latex-condoms-906782
- Laura Argintar via Elite Daily. 17 Ridiculous Excuses Men Will Use So They Don’t Have to Wear Condoms. https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/excuses-guys-no-condom/817443