The Most Bizarre Questions And Answers About Condoms And Safe Sex

I am sure that you do need me to tell you this, but the internet is an incredibly strange place. All you need to do is take a wrong turn just once and you will be inundated with all types of weird and wonderful things. You will also be baffled by the complete bizarreness of some of the people out there.

On this page, I am going to share some of the craziest questions I have encountered about condoms. Now, I have completed some sex education classes in my time and I have never seen one of these questions asked. It always makes me wonder just what people are too scared to ask about sex. Take a browse through this page and you may just find that one of the questions that you have had burning up inside you for years gets answered. You may even have a little bit of a chuckle. In any case, let’s dive in, shall we?

1. How Long Does It Take To Grow a Condom?

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No. This guy was not talking about growing his own condom tree. That would be a little bit less weird. Instead, he was asking at what age a condom would start to grow on his penis. He is 13-year-old boy who thinks he is old enough for sex. Hey buddy, if that condom is not growing on your penis yet, then you are obviously not ready for sex. Trust me.

The best voted answer is pretty amusing, though:
funny condom answer

2. Can You Use a Plastic Food Wrap Instead of a Condom For Cucumber Masturbation?

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Yes, you can. You see, cucumbers, as far as I am aware of at least, are unable to impregnate a woman. They also do not carry any sexual diseases… in most cases, at least. Why you would want to masturbate with one is anybody’s guess, however.

3. Is it True That You Don’t Need to Wear Condoms When Sleeping With an Asian Woman Because They Can’t Get Pregnant?

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Something tells me that that this guy doesn’t quite realize that Asia is the most populated continent (we have China to thank for that!). This guy even claimed that Asians were a different species to everybody else. I am detecting a little bit of racism there. Still, at least he asked. The answer is obviously a big no. He won’t be wandering around without condoms and getting Asian ladies pregnant now.

4. How to Damage a Condom With a Needle?

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Well… and these instructions are going to be quite complex… you just take a needle and sort of poke the condom. I am unsure as to why you would want to do that though. A condom with a hole in it is a pretty useless condom. It will also be very difficult to hide the fact that you have poked a small hole through it as the condom will just come apart during sex.

5. Is it Cheaper to Buy Condoms or Just to Get an Abortion Like Every Month?

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I am unsure as to where to begin with this one. Just be aware though that there is an emotional cost to getting an abortion, not just avoiding the condom cost. I urge you to use condoms or some other form of protection from pregnancy. I am all for people making their own choices in life, but if you are willfully going to kill another human being simply because you do not want to pay for condoms, then you are a bad person in my book.

6. If a Guy Uses a Condom, is He Still a Virgin?

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Yes. Yes he is. If he penetrated a lady or a man, then he is not a virgin. There is no way around this. You can tell yourself that you lost your virginity because you used your favorite strawberry flavored condom all you want, but you have not. You in fact lose it the second you go inside.

7. Is it Safe to Use Maple Syrup as Lube on My Condom?

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Well, I would imagine that the oral sex afterwards would be quite tasty, particularly for Canadians, but all joking aside, this would not be safe as it is not hygenic. Maple syrup is also rather sticky. Do you really want to head to your local hospital and try to explain why there is maple syrup in your vagina? Trust me, they will know what you were trying to do.

8. If I Freeze a Condom and Use it 5 Days Later Will it Break During Intercourse?

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I am unsure as to why you would want to freeze a condom. I really am. And I am sure it would break during intercourse. So not only will the female have a cold vagina but she will also be running the risk of getting pregnant. Do you really want to tell your future kid the only reason they are there is because you used a frozen condom?

Have you spotted any weird and wonderful questions about condoms?


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