There is division when the topic of dual orgasm comes up. It has happened to some but the rest find it rather elusive.
Sex can be good even if just one of the partners comes or one partner comes before the other. Just imagine how great it would feel to be doing it together?
To paraphrase the author of a book called He Comes Next, concurrent climaxes is a gratifying sexual experience.
The author, Ian Kerner, added that sensations are also amplified during a simultaneous orgasm because couples are experiencing it together.
Then again, those with active sex lives know that a synchronized orgasm is like trying to spot a famously elusive species: sometimes it happens, often times it does not. But knowing that a simultaneous climax is not a myth, how can couples achieve such a feat?
Tips for Climaxing Together
A study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine points out that couples who climax together are those who have strong relationships, have active sex lives and also have a positive outlook on life. The author of the study, Stuart Brody, also notes that coming at the same time as your partner means both of you have truly become one.
So how do couples climax together?
It all starts before you enter the bedroom
Simply knowing that sex is going to happen when both of you get home is enough to drum up excitement. The University of Texas’ Sexual Psychophysiology Lab has stated that expecting an orgasm to happen increases the chances of it actually happening. Heeding signs that turn you on, be it a specific smell or a particular tune, can make for a more pleasurable experience in bed as well.
Think of it as setting a scene for what will happen. So during the day, send each other flirty messages about what’s going down during the night. Since imagination is a very powerful thing, why don’t you spend a few minutes throughout the day thinking about your partner?
Even better, you can eliminate anything that might kill the mood. For instance, you can try leaving both your phones elsewhere while you do the deed. This way, one partner doesn’t get distracted and ensures that both of you are focused on a particular goal.
It takes working together to make it happen
If your notion of sex is solely for your own pleasure, then let’s just throw peaking together out the window. It’s just never going to happen if you don’t work together.
Here are the facts: Men can come in just a short time. Women, on the other hand, take longer to get there.
The notion that you have to wait until your partner is “ready” might not strike the fancy of those who want it over and done with. However, just like life, climaxing together is not easy. It takes time and to be honest, a whole lot of patience. But the reward will be so great.
So how can climaxing be done together? Put simply: men need to relax and women need to be touched.
There’s a lot of “being aware” involved in peaking together. The guy should mind his arousal at the same time do everything possible to get the lady “ready to go.” What he can do is touch his partner in places that would turn her on.
The female side of the equation can also do their part by having something rubbed against their clitoris as doing so increases blood flow to the V-zone leading to being turned on. Actions include using a vibrator, using your own fingers or grinding your pelvis on his body. Ladies can also guide their men where they want to be touched.
Men tend to get aroused pretty quickly and women can help keep him calm as well. A little stroke of the butt area or the inside of the thigh can to the trick. A bit of whispering in the ear may help as well. Another technique that can work for males is to do a mix of shallow and deep thrusts but done in a slow manner.
It helps to be in the right position
Conversation works even when having sex – it’s not all grunting and moaning. Talking to each other can help provide clues as to “where you currently are.”
If you’re both “near” then it’s time to move on to a position that provides intense sensation. Other than conversation, creating codes can also help. For instance, the squeeze of a hand means one is close to climaxing.
One of the tested and proven methods is having the man enter from behind. This allows deeper penetration on his part and it also allows him to manually stimulate the clitoris.
Another method is the coital alignment technique which is a version of the missionary position but where the lady straps her legs around her guy to “keep him straight” and the grinding resulting from it creates much-needed friction to be aroused.
Positions with the girl on top create opportunities for climaxing together as well. With the lady on top, she can be in control of the pace – it doesn’t even matter if it’s on the bed or straddling a man on a chair.
The woman can simply pull out ever so slightly when her man is about to orgasm and try something else, be it kissing, talking or touching. When he has calmed down, the sex can resume.
Climaxing Together Is Difficult but Doable
Not every couple can orgasm together. Then again, when you want it to happen, it will definitely happen. All it needs is time, a whole lot of patience and an even greater sense of understanding of one’s partner. You won’t be experts at synchronized orgasms after just one go – it usually takes a lot of practice.
There will surely be times when the man goes first but issues like this shouldn’t dissuade you from trying to come together. If you want it badly enough, it’s bound to happen.