You Can Orgasm Alone But Not With Your Partner? Here’s What You Can Do About it

You’re in the mood. Things are getting hot and heavy between you and your partner. You’re in bed together, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know you’re having sex. But you don’t get that pleasured satisfaction from it that you should. Sure, it feels good and your partner gets off, but you don’t.

It’s not uncommon to have trouble completing an orgasm. What can be a wonderfully pleasure-filled experience during your solo action can be quite the opposite once you hop into bed with your partner.

You may be perfectly apt at getting yourself off while masturbating, but sex just doesn’t do it for you. Being able to orgasm is key to having better sex and establishing better intimacy in your relationship, so how can you make sure it happens?

Unleash your fantasies

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Putting your imagination to use can be a great way to get your blood pumping. Oftentimes fantasies play a big role in solo time, as they can stimulate both our minds and our bodies, which is why it helps us achieve orgasm more quickly.

Activating those fantasies while you’re heading for a romp in the sheets with your partner can greatly increase your chances of arousal and orgasm. Just close your eyes and let your imagination take hold.

Change it up

Lack of an orgasm can mean your sex life needs some spicing up. Shake things up by trying new places, positions, and even sex toys to stir up the sexiness. Adding in some new flavor is a great way to experiment.

You might even find something that you really enjoy and works for you. Don’t be afraid to try different sex positions, and even sex games like roleplay, which can make the bedroom seem a lot more adventurous.

Relax!

Sometimes we’re unable to achieve an orgasm because we’re too clenched up down there. Whether it’s because you’re self-conscious or stressed during intimacy, try to loosen up a bit. Get the blood flowing with some foreplay in the beginning, have your partner give you a massage, and just lay back and let the orgasm come instead of overthinking it.

If you find yourself stressed from work or something else, try taking a relaxing bath or setting up a date night between you and your partner to put things in that mood before you head for the sheets.

Increase clitoral stimulation

Adding the clitoris into the mix can be a game changer for sex, as it can be more difficult to orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Have your partner use his fingers, or add in a vibrator to help stimulate the clitoris and increase your chances of orgasming during sex. You can even use your own fingers during sex to touch and stimulate your clitoris the way you like it.

Try lubrication

Dry sex can be painful and can make it impossible to enjoy. Adding in some lubricant can help make things a bit sexier, and certainly smoother, which will altogether increase arousal and make it easier to orgasm.

Communicate!

Masturbation is easy because you know exactly what you want and what you like in order to get yourself to that happy place. Sex can be more difficult if you and your partner aren’t on the same page.

So help your partner get a better feel of your body, tell him when you like something and when you don’t like something, and let him know if what he’s doing is working. You’ll have a much better change of orgasming if your partner is in tune with your body like you are.

Use sex toys

There’s nothing wrong with incorporating some outside help. Using sex toys can be a great way to get aroused and make sex more pleasurable. With the addition of new ways to pleasure yourself and your partner, sex will feel a whole lot more adventurous.

Prep yourself

For the whole day leading up to sex, keep reminding yourself that you’re going to have sex and you’re going to orgasm. Get your partner in on it and maybe do some roleplay beforehand. Either way, thinking about sex will certainly make you hornier as the day goes on, and when that time comes you’ll be ready to let loose.

Foreplay

Spend plenty of time on foreplay beforehand to get yourself ready. This way you can ease your way into it and allow yourself to get into the mood before engaging in sex right away. Foreplay will also help relax you and make you more aroused, and the more aroused you get the more likely you are to orgasm.

Go for the oral

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Oral sex is a great way to achieve orgasm because the focus is entirely on you. This is a great time to just relax and let your partner touch you. This way, you can concentrate on what’s happening rather than worrying about pleasing your partner at the same time.

If you still have trouble, try to let your partner know which spots feel the best to you and give him a few cues to let him know if he should stop or keep going.

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