Did you know: 10 Ways A Condom Can’t Protect You (funny)

We’ve all heard how condoms can protect you from sexually transmitted disease. That is wonderful considering most are fatally deadly. But, can condoms truly protect you in life threatening situations? Some may argue yes and others no. There’s only one way to solve this problem. You guessed it. Place people in life threatening situations, action packed, extremely dangerous, not funny scenarios with a condom and see if they make it out in one piece. What if I told you some have experimented with condoms? Shocking results have emerged. Take a look for yourself.

  1. SHARK ATTACK – In the middle of the ocean a man’s floating in along refilling the air in his condom (flotation device). A shark jumped out the water and gulped the guy down in one swoop.
  2. DEATH STAR -Luke and Princess Aleah were enjoying a night starry evening together in an inflated condom. What the couples thought was a romantic moon was actually the Death Star. Sadly, a condom couldn’t protect those love birds from that incinerating ray that would vaporize them.
  3. HULK SMASH – A condom couldn’t save Loki from a brutal beating by the Hulk. The Hulk slammed and slung him around like a rag doll.
  4. VELOCILRAPTOR-Through the condom appeared like a force field, the Velocilraptor poked and popped that bad boy like a balloon. No protection but Dino got an afternoon snack.
  5. EMBARRASING YOURSELF -Well a condom can’t protect you from an embarrassing moment in the elevator when you cut the cheese.
  6. MAGIC SPELLS-Waving your condom like a wand and casting a spell won’t protect you from magic spells. It might make your opponent laugh and give you time to run for your life. But that didn’t happen for our friend here. Voldemort didn’t hesitate to zap the crap out of him.
  7. ALIEN INVASION -Sadly, condoms can’t protect you from hostile alien invaders. The laser beams they will be sure to prep the planet for new inhabitants. : )
  8. WRECKING BALL-Condoms will definitely not protect you from Miley Cyrus riding a 10,000lb steel wrecking ball. You and the prophylactics will be professionally demolished.
  9. JUDGES -The judges of Dance with the Stars have no mercy for those who seek refuge in condoms. The matching partners used those condoms so creatively to make their outfits. The judges voted 0 across the board.
  10. THE BIG BAD WOLF -Just when you thought the 3rd pig had it all together, we were all wrong. Not only did he have a brick house that couldn’t be blown down but another inflated condom to protect his new place. So here comes the Big Bad Wolf. He huffed and well you know the rest but it didn’t work. Here’s where having friends in high places comes in handy. Miley Cyrus riding that wrecking ball swings in out of nowhere and levels that piggy’s house. Team work makes the dream work.

So we say Condoms can’t protect you from an Apocalypse, Magic, or whatever other crazy unimaginable scenarios you can imagine. But we can trust this, that if you want to protect you and your partner from HIV you can use a condom. You can get free condoms and info about HIV from any sexual health clinic. Remember safety first. Use a condom.

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